My dad came to visit for Eurocon a few weeks ago and we had a wonderful time together. It's funny to think that when I move back, it will be the first time we have lived in the same location (Maryland) as adults. There has always been distance between us and I have never really lived close to any of my family in my adulthood.
At times I grow impatient with life. I like to do everything quickly and move on to the next task. I have been learning more and more that that's really not how God operates. There are many things that have been on my heart and that I am praying for, and at times I think I get a little frustrated because they don't happen when I expect them to. Do you ever feel like this? I know that there are several reasons for this, God is working patience into my life, maybe it's not His will for that thing to happen or maybe it's not His perfect timing, but I am reminded of another possibility. Do you remember in Daniel 10:12-13 when the angel appears to Daniel and tells him that from the first day he began to pray that his prayer was heard, but there was a spiritual battle going on.
I think often times we can forget that our battle isn't physical but spiritual. Daniel prayed for 21 days with seemingly no response from God because there was spiritual warfare. We need to realize that we are also part of this war. What happens when the answer to my prayer is delayed? Do I give up? Do I keep praying? I think that this has been happening in my life. I can only remember one other time when I have prayed as much as I am right now.
Even though the answers or solutions I want have not yet (and maybe never will) come, just the prayer itself has been enough for me. I believe it was Pastor Schaller at Eurocon who asked the question, how often do we go to God in prayer with a complaint only to find that we are just complaining and not actually praying? I think there is an attitude which differentiates complaining and persisting. Complaining is focusing on the negative whereas persisting is a constant seeking of God to intervene.
Perhaps this newsletter is a little convoluted, I am continuing to ponder these things in my mind. I hope were able to follow that winding train of thought. Please keep me in prayer.
